No need to introduce myself...

 ...as you will get to know me soon!

If you need a name, call me Daria, or whatever you feel like. I've had many nicknames, none of them stuck. If you find one that you really like, tell me and we'll see how it goes!

I wasn't always an extrovert. To the contrary, I was the one kid hiding behind her parents' legs any chance I got while my sister was playing with all the new kids. I was shy, awkward and had a hard time expressing myself. I didn't quite understand how to converse, or be a good friend - especially in times when I needed to comfort someone. What (not) to say was always challenging for me. Well, for me as a kid. I always felt too many emotions that I couldn't really name, so, naturally, I would end up in tears. And all this hot mess leads - to me today.

I remember one moment from childhood, long ago in elementary school, when a friend was crying over a boy. You might deduce from the introduction that I wasn't really an expert in boys when I was 11. I actually didn't fall in love until much later in life. The concept of boy problems was unknown to me. Quite a big mystery! This friend, on the other hand, was an amorous kid. She was empathetic and kind, open and lovable. The latter two I couldn't really relate to either. I wanted to comfort her because that's what friends do, of course, so I said the first thing that came to my mind. As I was a socially awkward kid, that thing was along the lines of telling the hard truth, "If it is not reciprocated, then why are you crying? Don't you want somebody to love you back?" (although I'm quite sure I didn't really use such advanced vocabulary back then). What can I say, I was always to the point. My friend was not happy, to say the least. I remember her scolding me unwittingly, and that sounded something like: "How could you say that, what is wrong with you?". I don't remember much more. Maybe I suppressed it, maybe it wasn't important. But this was a turning point for me: LEARN HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE. Don't be wrong with people. Learn how to make them feel secure and loved. Understand them. Because, after all, you know nothing Daria.

My logical mind would from then on make analysis and over-analysis over everything and all. I found humans to be fascinating. My dream job was to became a professional people-observer. Funny how later in life I couldn't figure out what to study - what would scream my name. And no, I didn't study psychology. I instead became an engineer (fit right in!).

So that's how my journey of reflection and self-reflection started. By wanting to know all about how, and why humans behave in certain ways. Also maybe, why I don't behave or think like them, some (or most) of the times. I wanted to get to the bottom of the "what's wrong with me". Unconsciously, psychology became my hobby. 

Many stories and years later, I found out I am actually good with people. Ergo, this blog! I'm sure I would've discovered it somehow later in life even if my friend didn't scold me in 5th grade, but just to be on the safe side: thank you, my friend, for all those tears and eye-opening truths!

And thank you to all who opened my eyes and mind since then, some in the similar fashion as my friend above, and others in an easier manner.

Talk to you later,

Daria